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Tired of Tossing and Turning? It's Time to Rediscover Rest!

Writer's picture: dansvcadansvca

We've all been there, haven't we? The clock ticking, the ceiling a canvas of frustration, the knowledge that sleep should be happening...but it's not. You toss and turn, maybe get up, grab your phone – and suddenly another hour has vanished. Then finally, maybe you do drift off, only to be jolted awake by the alarm after a sleep that feels like mere minutes. Or perhaps you're one of the lucky ones that sleeps those 8, 9 or 10 hours but you awaken tired, or maybe you're tired again a couple hours later. The cycle repeats, night after night, a frustrating loop of restless energy and then the blame game starts . You might start blaming external factors or just feel utterly confused. The harder we try to sleep, the more elusive it seems. It's a trap, really. We start speaking in a language of "sleep deprivation," of "needing 8 hours," we tell ourselves we are "sleepless", and this over-identification with tiredness can become consuming. We become moody, our relationships strain, performance and attitude suffer.


But what if the goal shouldn't be sleep itself? Sleep can be elusive, even when you get a decent amount of it, it doesn’t mean you feel rested. What if we shifted our focus? What truly allows you to rest? Think about it – a break to recharge; activities that quiet the mind and body; stepping away from the relentless pull of phones, emails, to-do lists, and constant planning. The key is not the act of sleep, but the state of rest.


Let's bring a different approach, starting by gently calming the mind. Put aside the backlit screens. Take a moment to create a list for the next day – intentions and tasks – so you can mentally release them for now. Now, gently scan your body, head to toe and back again. Notice any tension in your muscles. Breathe in, give that area a gentle squeeze, and as you exhale, release it. Do this with your eyes, lips, cheeks, neck, shoulders, chest, back, down to your feet, and then back up. Shift your focus to the language of rest, of restful states. Remember those times you've laid down and only slept for a short time, yet woke feeling surprisingly refreshed? How? It was restful! Your mind wasn’t racing, your internal computer was powered down.


Most nights, our systems have background apps running and this impacts the rest our body needs. Like any machine, consistent background processes drain battery life. Our bodies already have a lot of work to do just healing the day’s activities. If we focus on rest, incorporating things that bring rest, we give our bodies more opportunity to recharge. Focus on gentle movements, the soft rise and fall of the breath, a subtle rocking of the legs, or the gentle turning of your hands. Don’t fight it, don’t overthink it. Simply pay attention to the natural rhythm of your breath. This will guide you into your parasympathetic system – you’re “rest and digest” mode. This is where healing and rejuvenating can occur.

Changing our focus to rest, practicing restful activities, putting down the phone, and not engaging in philosophical debates or contemplation, are all keys to this more restful state. Create those lists for to-dos and intentions, let those go for now. There are meditation apps and a wide variety of music and frequency sounds that can help us get out of our heads and back into our bodies.


So, let's stop chasing sleep and start cultivating rest. This positive shift in focus can be the key to unlocking a more balanced, energetic, and vibrant you and it begins tonight.


By Daniel McMath

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